The Lost Relationship

Relationships are built brick by brick. It is not like you just go out there to meet somebody and just hit off like you've been friends for years together. There have to be moments of discomfort, no matter how compatible you are.

So, when my brother asked me to join with him to meet this "old friend" of our family's, I was clear enough to say, "No." Well, it was a pretty disinterested, "No." and somehow, as always, there was some arrogance "seen" in it. Honestly, I wasn't even trying to be arrogant. I was just exercising my right to refuse a request. Well, that's not the point of this blog entry. The point is to discuss a very critical type of relationship that we sometimes are forced to share with some people.. "THE LOST RELATIONSHIP"

Sometimes, you just feel, "Who the F is this person? Why should I even take so much pains to go and spend time with him if he doesn't even bother?" When it has been so long and you have no clue as to where they work "now", what they do "now", whether they're single "now" or anything else that's relevant in their life "now", how do you bond with someone?

It is a totally different issue if it's a new relationship that you're kicking off, questions and uncertainty about these issues are permitted. The problem with the "lost relationship" is that you're supposed to know this person already, but you really don't. It is something which is very difficult to address because you're supposed to know what to talk with them (and what not to), how to behave with them (and how not to), where to go with them (and where not to) but you don't know any of these things. So, even kicking of a meaningful conversation with such a person is tough, because you don't really know if you're close enough to them and you doubt you'll ever break the ice with them again.

I sometimes wonder if there is a remedy for a "lost relationship". Some way in which we can find the intimacy again. Then I am forced to ask myself why would I bother when there are a million other people around me who can be my friends? Why even bother to take efforts when they haven't taken any effort themselves? Why even bother to revive something that's been dead for years? Then I wonder if Darwin's theory applies to this too. After all the possible filtering, people and the relationships you share at the end of the day have survived because they are fit enough to survive.

Ok, I need to go now, need to visit this "old friend" of our family's. Supposedly, "we are very close to them".. *shakes head* Good bye folks!!

Deepak Valagam